Do You Have Problems
With C.A.D.D.?

C.A.D.D. That would be "conversational attention deficit disorder." You may have noticed that many others suffer from this condition. However, you may not have noticed if you yourself do - because no one may have told you so directly.

Sources of C.A.D.D.

1. Multi-tasking

In this hurry-up world we live and work in, we are often packing multiple activities into our chunks of time: In short, we're multi-tasking.

As we listen at a meeting, we may be sketching out notes for a memo we're preparing; as we talk on the phone, we may be reading a computer screen; as we chat with a friend in the mall, we may simultaneously be planning our next purchase or worrying about our mother's health.

Split attention is only partial --deficit attention -- and not helpful for listening.

As Zen Master Lin Chi once said, "When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit. But above all don't wobble!" Do only one thing at a time!

2. Information overload

Some colleagues report receiving 200 email messages each day. Who can handle that number and remain focused and attentive?

When our cup is full to the brim, we cannot take in more. We receive perhaps a hundred times as much information in a day as our grandparents did. Phone calls, meetings, interpersonal exchanges, radio, TV, the internet, iPods and Blackberries.

Just as when we're dining, there comes a point when we are full, So it seems to be with information - there's a point when we can take in no more so that our attention is not available.

Do you remember another classic Zen story where the student wants to learn and the master keeps pouring tea into his cup until it runs over, then explains that the student's mind is like the cup - so full it cannot take in additional information.

3. Deflecting, avoiding, shuttling

It is common for people to "shuttle" elsewhere and give their attention to something else if what they're hearing is uncomfortable. For example, few of us enjoy receiving criticism or blame, so we tend to tune it out or try to change the subject.

Therefore, when you're delivering messages that could create discomfort, it's best to do so in a low-keyed way using descriptive language instead of judgement. You'll have a better chance of getting through.

4. Fatigue

As many instructors know, the mid-afternoon is not a great time for teaching. Having been up since early morning, many students experience a dip in their energies and have difficulty paying attention.

To pay close attention, a certain amount of vitality is required. It's therefore best to communicate with others when they are fresh, and it's also best to receive communication when you are rested and ready.

5. Monkey-mind

Many mental distractions pull our attention away from the messages that are being conveyed. Such is the nature of the busy mind. While we try to take in and understand what is being said, we find our minds wandering. The ancients of India referred to our busy-mindedness as "monkey-mind," like a drunken monkey bitten by a scorpion, hopping from one idea or image to the next in a kind of random fashion.

Knowing how we ourselves dislike when we receive very little attention when we're communicating, it makes good sense to manage our awareness and our energies so we can give others the gift of attending when they speak.

We can certainly reduce habits of multi-tasking, and we can also orient ourselves to the other person(s) with our eyes and ears.

Those two changes alone will greatly reduce our C.A.D.D.

Loren Ekroth © 2006, All rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people. Contact Loren at Loren@conversation-matters.com. Check out a wealth of valuable resources and articles at http://www.conversation-matters.com.

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