Can you hide your true feelings about an offensive neighbor or co-worker, without compromising your sense of honesty or your desire to be 'authentic'?

Well, just give it a try. You may be amazed at the results...

When was the last time you thought of yourself as an actor or actress? If you’re not into theater or drama, chances are you don’t think of your workplace as a stage.

But think about it for a minute. If you thought of your job as a performance on a stage, in front of an audience would you be an award-winning performer?

Take the case of Lisa and Connie for example...

Connie secretly takes pride in not letting Lisa push her buttons

Lisa thinks of herself as “authentic”. “I am who I am and I call it as I see it. You’ll know it if I like you or I don’t.” She believes that it’s more important to be true to her self than it is to “act like you’re someone you really aren’t”.

Connie thinks of herself as “authentic” as well. In fact, she is often on the receiving end of Lisa’s “honest opinions”.

She believes that Lisa is a good person at heart, and that her rough and tough exterior is just an “act” that Lisa plays to hide her true self. Even though Lisa’s snide comments sometimes hurt Connie’s feelings, she’s usually pretty good at letting them go in one ear and out the other.

In fact, Connie secretly takes pride in not letting Lisa push her buttons. She’ll often respond to Lisa’s barbs with something like “Oh Lisa, you don’t really mean that”. She would never pick Lisa as one of her personal friends, but she can “act” as though she likes her, even when she doesn’t.

There is a lot of acting going on in the case of Connie and Lisa.

Showing a person that you don’t like them is nothing more than an ego trip

The difference is that Connie thinks bigger than Lisa. She understands that it takes several different personality types to make up a great team. She knows that work gets done quicker and more efficiently when she doesn’t let herself get caught up in Lisa’s little game. She chooses to “act” like Lisa’s little antics don’t bother her.

The more she practices the “act”, the easier it gets.

Showing a person that you don’t like them is nothing more than an ego trip. What would be different for you if you were to act as if you liked everyone? Which of your “acts” need a little more practice?

Are you ready to take the challenge?

Take Action Challenge

My challenge to you over the next week:

1. Start paying attention to your acts
2. For the next 5 days review your performance at the end of every day
3. Ask yourself these questions:
   .. On a scale of 1 – 10, how would I rate my performance?
   .. Which acts have I mastered?
   .. Which acts need more work?
   .. What is one thing I can begin doing tomorrow to improve my acting?
4. Keep practicing
5. Share your experience with me

© 2006 Lora J Adrianse

As the owner of Essential Connections, Lora Adrianse is a catalyst for clients who aspire to create dynamic business relationships with their colleagues and customers. She authors a free monthly newsletter, "Relating@Work". Go to her website at http://www.connectionscoach.com to subscribe now! Lora also writes two thought-provoking blogs: Essential Connections and Get Your Career in Gear.

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