I am proud to announce that I have launched a new, enhanced and expanded edition of my popular e-book:  How to Build Relationships That Stick .   The enthusiastic reception the book has received during the couple of days it has been in the marketplace has been more than gratifying.  The new version contains many new insights and practical tips,  and is spiced with entertaining stories, many of them true, to illustrate important principles.

Is this book for you?   There are surely very few people, if indeed any at all, whose quality of life will not be improved through fine-tuning their personal relationship skills in some way or other.  Even people who have good marriages (or think they do) and get on well with all and sundry are not excluded from this assessment. But particularly, you need   How to Build Relationships That Stick if you recognize yourself in one or more of the following scenarios:

• You are stuck in a shaky, conflict-ridden marriage that most of the time seems nothing but a nightmare.
• At work, you’re working as a member of a team on an important project,  but your colleagues ignore all your good  ideas, and sometimes at meetings even forget that you’re present.
• Your teenage children don’t seem to understand that you love them and only want what’s good for them.
• You have a friend who always picks an argument whenever you start what you intend to be a pleasant conversation.
• Your spouse has a good heart but can’t control his or her temper.
• You have a snooty neighbor who, much to your chagrin, always gives you the cold shoulder when you bump into each other in the street.
• You try to comfort a friend in distress, but you can’t understand why he takes everything you say the wrong way.
• You feel your family or friends don’t appreciate all the things you do for them.
• You find it hard to say no to anyone who asks a favor from you.
• You’d love to make friends with that stranger you sometimes see at the bus stop, but you don’t know how to take the first step.

Here is what prominent interpersonal communication expert Kare Anderson has to say about How to Build Relationships That Stick:
“A bountiful book of powerfully practical insights on how to make friends and cultivate deeper, satisfying relationships over time. It makes a great gift, basis for a course or team conversation – or a personal primer for a more meaningful life – with others.”

The book is written in a friendly, highly readable style and each chapter concludes with practical exercises to help the reader apply the relevant concepts in everyday life.

“What do you do when you are working with someone who simply isn’t a strong communicator?” asks training specialist Shaun Belding in his Winning at Work e-newsletter  (top-notch reading for anyone in the workplace).

“It might be someone who speaks in one- or two-word sentences. Perhaps it’s someone who only gives you half the information you require, assuming that you already know the other half. It could be that they are communicating to you in their second language, and simply don’t possess enough language skills yet. In some cases, poor communication comes from individuals so intent on using important-sounding buzzwords that they completely baffle the listener. (e.g. ‘We need to granularize the core alignment of the cloud-driven segmentation…’)”.

All these things can be irritating if you happen to be s tickler for accuracy or perfection.  But, whereas you might be somewhat more  tolerant in other circumstances,  it becomes really frustrating when your colleague’s lack of clarity  begins to impact your ability to do your job.

And what makes it harder is that poor communicators rarely have  any inkling of how bad they really are.

So what can you do about it?  Reproaching the offending parties outright for their  sloppiness is  usually  not an option.  Nor is offering to give them lessons written or verbal language skills.  However,  there are solutions.

What Belding advocates is the use of clarifying questions that let your coworker know that they do not make themselves entirely clear.

” Be gentle, and don’t make them feel stupid. For example, if your coworker sends you an email that says,  ‘Pls advise re: customer paperwork’  don’t just email back with  ‘ What on earth are you talking about?’  You’re better to send a message back (or better – call) that says something like,  ‘Absolutely! Just so I make sure I’m getting you the right information, can you confirm which specific customer and paperwork? Thanks!”‘

Although the questioning may annoy your fellow worker in the short term,  the next time he or she comes to you with a query or request,  he or she might present the information more clearly. if that happens, you’ve done a great job, but Belding concludes with a very pertinent warning:

“Don’t be too quick to place all the blame on your coworker. Communication, after all, is a two-way street.