Management Communication: Three Basic Rules

Many leaders in the workplace choose to ignore these simple points. Fine. That’s their business and good luck to them. But then why do they seem so surprised when the productivity of their workers takes a nosedive?

How to Tell If Someone is a True Friend

It’s a lament one hears often:

“I’m so frustrated about the friends that I have. I trusted someone who I thought was a good friend of mine and I ended up getting used. I really can’t tell who is really a friend and who is just fake and trying to use me. I used to trust my own judgment, but now…I’m not so sure…”

Here are five simple rules that serve as a litmus test.

Working With Difficult People: Turning Tormentors into Teachers

When a confrontational employee or fellow worker with a chip on the shoulder begins to drive you up the wall, a simple switch in tactics could put a smile back on his face. And yours.

How to Leave Professional Phone Messages

Trying to reach a person who isn’t immediately available can be pretty frustrating at times, but take heart! A well planned message could be a fine opportunity to enhance your reputation and even help build relationships.

Voice to High? How to Safely Lower Your Pitch

Some common speaking problems:

“Even though I’m a mature female and a stockbroker, I am often mistaken for a child when I answer the phone or leave messages. I’m not sure what to do. Is my voice too high? Too hesitant? How can start to sound my age?”

“I am a small man and my voice is higher than I prefer. Are there any ways to lower my voice? I once heard that one movie star used to go into the mountains and scream for hours.”

Read what voice production expert Susan Berkley advises.

What to Do About Office Gossip

How an organization deals with habitual gossipers can be mean the difference between growing and thriving, or disintegrating from within

Please use the Comments area to let me know what you think of these articles, or to suggest topics you’d like to see covered in the future. If you prefer, you can also contact me privately at azriel AT hodu.com.

Fine. But what exactly is emotional intelligence?  Perhaps the clearest and simplest  definition I have seen is that of Maurice Schweitzer, a Management professor at Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania:

“Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions and understand how they operate and also the ability to manipulate and change them. If I have emotional intelligence, I know what the right time to talk to my boss is. I know that my new partners had a terrible flight and lost their luggage and and aren’t going to be receptive to what I’m saying, so I shouldn’t make my pitch right now. Or I know that, if I take them to this particular restaurant or I buy tickets to this Indy car race, I can shift their emotional state to feeling more gratitude toward me and listening to me.”

Professor Schweitzer adds that skilled negotiators  tend to have high levels of this kind of aptitude, and they apply it in small subtle ways when they are doing their work. They might for example, during a particularly tense moment,  call for a break, go get a soda and also bring something back for the people on the other side of the table.

Schweitzer’s words appears in a Wharton report of research he conducted together with Francesca Gino of Carnegie Mellon University.

The study confirms what we probably already know: that one’s emotions at a particular point in time influence people’s receptiveness to advice. This applies even when the emotions have no link to the advice or the adviser.

And our moods and feelings may systematically distort not only our receptiveness to the information we are receiving, but also the  rationality of our reactions. For example, an investor may be angry about losing a bet on a ballgame and thus may underestimate the value of a stock recommended by an analyst. Another may be elated about the birth of a child and overestimate it.

See here for how I was once the “victim” of rather poor emotional intelligence, according to Schweitzer’s definition, on the part of a boss of mine – who was otherwise a very nice guy.  (I changed some details in the story, but the “Mr.Thompson” referred to was really me!)

Passive Aggressive Behavior and Workplace Anger

Passive aggressive behavior is one of the most common ways anger is displayed in the workplace. Because people fear retaliation for speaking up, or even fear for their jobs, anger goes deep and oozes out in unhealthy ways

Seven Ways to Stop Interrupting

It happens all day, every day. We see it on television interviews. We hear it on the radio. We experience it at home and at work. One person talking over the other person. Not letting people finish what they were saying. In short, interrupting!

Interrupting can cause a whole stream of problems and challenges. It reduces our effectiveness as a listener, negatively impacts relationships, shuts down communication, reduces our ability to learn and much more.

Icebreakers: The Niftiest Training Tool

If you’re looking for a training tool that will deliver the most benefits for the least effort… a tool that can be used in any number of training situations… and change the mood of a group in a second… all while delivering heaps of learning… then I think I can claim to have found it…
…Icebreakers!

Stand Your Ground With Manipulators!

Nobody likes being manipulated. And despite what manipulators may believe, the act of manipulation always has a diminishing outcome.

How to Deal With Conflict Avoiders

Some people with whom you relate have tremendous difficulty acknowledging and talking about negative feelings.

Because they want to keep the peace at any cost, they pretend everything is fine. They don’t want to rock the boat. As a result, underlying resentments can grow and eventually destroy working relationships as well as personal relationships.

High Time to Change Childish Conversation

Many adults use childish conversation styles some or all of the time. What are the most common types of childish speech, and what makes people talk that way?

Please use the Comments area to let me know what you think of these articles, or to suggest topics you’d like to see covered in the future. If you prefer, you can also contact me privately at azriel AT hodu.com.

Perfect the Art of Asking!

A key part of getting what you want is knowing how to ask for it. And, there are various ideas and strategies that are important in making certain you express yourself clearly and persuasively. Here are nine rules to bear in mind that will help you perfect “The Art of Asking.”

Two Minute Attitude Assessment

Your attitude to life and its challenges is crucial in determining your success in your career or in meeting personal objectives. Moreover, people with poor life attitudes may find it difficult to sustain good personal or professional relationships. This short test and the detailed commentary will give you a good idea of where you stand.

How to Comfortably Connect With Your Conversation Partner

Your attitude is critical when you approach people to engage them in conversation because it gets reflected in your facial expressions, voice, and body movements as well as your words. Learn the key aspects of a winning attitude for connecting with others and building trust and liking.

What You Say Without Speaking

Beware! Precisely at times when it’s most important for you, the nonverbal signals your body sends out may directly contradict the positive impression you’re trying so hard to make. Here’s how to prepare yourself for that crucial job interview, presentation, date or other significant occasion.

How to Appear Confident and Assertive in an Interview

When the job description calls for a high degree of self-confidence and aggressiveness (in a positive sense), how do you show your potential employers that you really do have what it takes?

Conversation Games: Practice Your Skills While Having Fun!

Just for the fun of it during the holidays or at any time, you might enjoy trying some conversation games. Here are a few easy ones

Please use the Comments area to let me know what you think of these articles, or to suggest topics you’d like to see covered in the future. If you prefer, you can also contact me privately at azriel AT hodu.com.

In other words, instead of “teachers” substitute “managers”, and replace “education” with “work performance” or “ability to do my job.”

Instead of, through their leadership, inspiring and molding the people under them to maximize their productivity and to actualize their full potential value to their organization – which is presumably what managers are paid to do – many modern managers seem to be doing just the opposite.

New research by British consultancy Hay, for example, as reported on management-issues.com, reveals that two thirds of British managers actually create negative working climates that leave employees resentful and frustrated. In a damning indictment of British managers, Hay concludes that fully 20% of British workers are frustrated in their jobs. Why? Because rigid bureaucracy and poor management structures hamper innovation and creativity.

In a penetrating piece on our site, training consultant Dan Bobinski cites Dr William Glasser of Choice Theory fame: “Bosses put a damper on creativity. They know how the job should be done and there’s only one way: Their way.”

Glasser distinguishes between two types of managers: bosses (the managers of the above quotation, those who “boss” people around), and lead-managers, those who truly engage their employees. “Bossed” workers make no effort to nurture their creative talents because they know no one will listen to them anyway. Lead-managers, on the other hand, will go out of their way to look for creativity in their workers, because they know it brings the worker satisfaction to contribute to the workplace.

Interestingly, Bobinski points out that many of the highest-level managers he works with believe they fell into the lead-manager category; open to input and ideas, and making themselves available to anyone who wanted to talk. Then when he speaks to the second tier of mangers in the same organization, they also see themselves as falling into the same category.

But – and this is the crunch – when asked about the level above them, almost all of the second-tier managers saw their leaders as falling into the “boss” category. And amazingly enough, if there are several levels of management, exactly the same pattern repeats itself at every level!

Clearly, the issue here is one that, thankfully, is now beginning to receive the rather belated recognition it deserves. Technical expertise is just not enough. Communication and general interpersonal skills – the so-called “soft skills” – are also a vital ingredient in the complex mix that could turn you into good leadership material.

In the Hay study, half of the workers believed that they did not have the authority to make decisions crucial to their jobs, with the same proportion complaining of being discouraged from participating in decisions that directly affected their work.

The researchers argued that managers were failing to design jobs in such a way as to capitalize on the talents of their workers. More than a third of the respondents believed their job did not make best use of their skills and abilities.

Ben Hubbard, regional director at Hay’s employee survey division summed it all up: The frustrated employee phenomenon poses a major business risk.

And a significant missed opportunity.