Try an experiment. Start a conversation on any topic with your spouse or best friend. After you’ve been talking together for a few minutes, interject with something along the lines of: “Hey, what are you talking about? You’re a real idiot!”
Next, hasten to explain to your partner that of course, you didn’t  mean what you [...]

They tell a story about a small boy whose father is a high-powered executive. One morning he calls up the fancy corporate headquarters and asks to speak to his father.
“Sorry,” apologizes the gatekeeper, “your Daddy’s busy at a very important meeting right now, try later.” The kid does try later, in fact [...]