Nowadays, our mentors are continually warning us that when we meet someone for the first time, whether in a business or a social setting, we only have seven seconds to make that crucial, potentially make-or-break, first impression.

Why, then, do we so often throw all admonishments to the winds and simply let ourselves go when that “meeting” takes place over the phone?

It could be a simple telephone call to ask a friend or acquaintance – or more critically – a stranger to ask a small favor, a call to a prospective employer to arrange an interview, a call to a prospective client or customer, or whatever. The potential to have all our hopes dashed in the space of few seconds is the same.

Singapore-based business coach Heather Hansen has written an excellent article on telephone etiquette that will be useful not only in the kind of make-or-break situations referred to above but even during the most routine telephone conversations. Heather discusses five common areas where people are wont to make blunders during the course of a phone call.

What is significant is that all these cases have a common denominator. In each one of them, the errors described, with their potentially damaging consequences, could have been avoided had the callers tried to put themselves in the shoes of the party they were calling.

Personally, I can identify closely with the writer’s description of the person who calls you to make a request and doesn’t identify himself properly: “Hello, this is John! John! You know…John! So how are you doing? I wanted to ask you if…”

Now, I don’t usually spend my day sitting idle, and chances are that when “John” calls I’m in the middle of a task that requires some degree of concentration. I could even be busy writing this post. Not that I resent being interrupted, especially if someone needs my help. And no one compelled me to pick up the phone.

But while I’m more than happy if I can help John with whatever he needs (A burden? No way, it’s a privilege!), my thoughts are probably very far away at the moment I receive that call. Mentally, I might be on a different planet. Now even if John assumes (as we said, probably correctly), that I forgive the interruption, some empathy with where I might be holding at this point might be in order.

The first problem, of course, is that I may know dozens of Johns. But even if he says at the outset “John Williams”, he knows as well as I do that we haven’t seen each other for several months or even years, and he’s not likely to be a person that I’m thinking about all the time. Since, until a few seconds ago, my mind was immersed in other things, I’m now required to switch gears fast.

And since, (sigh!), I’m getting on in years and am no longer (if I ever was!) as quick on the uptake as John and others may believe I am, any help he can give me in re-orientating myself would help me to be in a position to help him faster!

Therefore something like: “Hi, Azriel. This is John Williams . We might last February at the seminar in such-and-such a place and we were discussing such-and-such a topic,” would certainly be a more welcome introduction.

As we said, whenever you pick up the phone to make a call, try to put yourself in the shoes of the one you’re calling and you can’t go far wrong.

For more in-depth information on telephone etiquette, telemarketing and communicating via the phone in general, consult this section of our web site.