Regular visitors to Hodu.com know that we have a wide selection of top-rate tutorials designed to help you sharpen your conversation skills in all kinds of situations, whether routine or unusual. The time you take in reading them will be well repaid.
But if you’re really in a hurry, here’s an excellent ten-point summary that will give you the basics of enjoying productive, tension-free discussions while standing on one leg. ( I mean, you can read this list while standing on one leg, not conduct a good conversation in that time – unless you’re exceptionally fit! I purposely constructed that sentence that way to make a point. Ambiguity is another enemy og good communication.)
I found this list at several places, without attribution. If you happen to know its author, please let me know so I can give due credit. Here goes…
1. Begin with something positive to create a friendly atmosphere.
2. Appreciate the human being you are talking with. S/he is not the enemy.
3. Respect the other person’s desire to do the right thing. When possible, give positive feedback.
4. Desire peace. If the other person makes offensive mistakes, don’t retaliate, rather help him/her recover.
5. Be open-minded. If the other person makes a good objection, admit to it (and enjoy your new clarity).
6. Don’t interrupt. Treat others as you would like to be treated. In the long term, you will save time.
7. Don’t provoke the other person by hitting his/her hot buttons.
8. “Show me, don’t shout at me.” Keep the discussion intellectual. Don’t force your opinion by shouting.
9. Lead by example. Don’t expect the other person to keep these rules. Teach them by example.
10. End by summarizing what you have in common with the other person, a good start for next time.
So that’s it in a nutshell. Here’s wishing you a lifetime of fruitful, really enjoyable conversations, free of any hint of stress, rancor or one-upmanship.
Azriel Winnett is the author of the highly acclaimed, eye-opening book How to Build Relationships That Stick. An enhanced edition is now available as a paperback.