Let’s say a close friend asks your opinion about an expensive dress she has just bought. You think the new outfit is stunning…on someone else. But the color doesn’t suit your friend so well. It’s not bad, mind you, but just that she could have done a little better.

Or maybe she wants to know whether she thinks she got a good deal on some new electronic appliance. And you just happened to pass by a store yesterday where the same item was advertised for 15% cheaper. In both cases – the garment and the gadget – you know there’s no way now she can return the item for refund for exchange.

So now…what do you say to your friend?  The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Or in this case, will you be prepared to bend the “truth” (not my deliberate use of quotation marks) a little so that your friend can feel good?

Let’s now turn to the world of business. Let’s say a department store somewhere puts out a big sign that reads: “Buy now! Sale ends tomorrow.”

Brad Shorr of Word Sell, Inc takes a close look at this statement  on his blog.  The “latest buzzword in corporate communication,” he writes, is transparency. Fine, but what exactly is meant by the term? If by “transparent” we mean “clear”, then “By now! Sale ends tomorrow” is a transparent statement.  It is clear and unambiguous – and yes, it may even be true!

But what would you say if what the store really means is: “Buy now! We’re deep in debt and plan to file for bankruptcy before the end of the month”? Schorr points out that most people would no longer agree that the original statement is “transparent”, because in the minds of most, the real meaning of “transparency” is sincerity.

Now we have a different ball game, because sincerity doesn’t admit degrees. Lying to the market is insincere. But telling partial truths is also insincere! Schorr quotes the philosopher Thomas Merton, from his book “No Man is an Island”:

“In the end the problem of sincerity is a problem of love. A sincere man is not so much one who sees the truth and manifests it as he sees it, but one who loves the truth with pure love. But thruth is more than an abstraction. It lives and is embodied in men and things that are real. And the secret of sincerity is, therefore, not to be sought in a philosophical ove for abstract truth, but in a love fore real people and real things…”

Heady words. But here we have the key to everything that is good, or that can be good, in human relationships.

More in upcoming posts.