by Dov Gordon
Nick writes in with the following sale-asphyxiating problem:
“As soon as a potential customer expresses an interest, I feel under enormous pressure and probably come over too much like I’m desperate to close at any cost rather than negotiate a reasonable/beneficial deal from a position of power.
“How can I be confident and relaxed?”
Nick, this is a mind game. We must lean on the three principles ofThe Alchemist Entrepreneur™: Reality, Impact and Leverage. And on the AE’s foundation for everything: Mental Toughness.
We’ve all been there. A promising new prospect is very interested. You begin to imagine how life will be like after you’ve made the sale. The extra cash will sure go a long way. The sale is proof to you and those who doubt you that you’re going to succeed. And now you can afford that vacation. Maybe your long suffering wife will respect you a bit more, after all.
Then your prospect seems to pull back a bit and one of two things happen:
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Nothing at all. And you can’t figure out why.
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You end up compromising on things that were important to you and the deal doesn’t give you what you hoped.
Why does this happen?
Here are three common reasons, along with strategies for avoiding each.
1. You strap yourself to the Endowment Effect
We humans are a bit strange. We’ll work harder and spend more money to keep from losing something we have than to get it in the first place. The idea of losing something scares us. And when worried or scared, we don’t think clearly.
When you believe you closed the sale before the money is actually in your account, this sale becomes something you own – and are now afraid to lose. And so you act a little crazy to keep it.
Whenever you are in a selling situation, remember Reality at all times: This sale is not closed until the money is in your account. No celebrating until then.
2. You actually think you can convince the customer
As long as you think that selling is about convincing someone to buy, you’re going to be stressed. And just like you can’t make a good decision in a bad mood, you can’t make a good sale while feeling bad about yourself.
The fastest way to feel lousy is to reflect on all your shortcomings and everything you want and don’t have.
The fastest way to feel good about yourself is to reflect on how you can help others. There are some things you have so much of that you can afford to give it away. Or to sell it at a great price to those who can really benefit.
So yes, selling is about having a positive Impact on someone through your product and service, far in excess of the money they pay you.
When you really, really get this, your sales conversations are focused on developing a deep understanding of the person you’re talking to. Before anything else, you genuinely want to know: Is this person a good fit? Only when it’s clear to both feel the fit is right, do you talk about your products and services.
If you ever find yourself trying to convince someone, immediately step back and recalibrate. Focus instead on having a genuine Impact and the sale will happen on its own.
3. You tell yourself you need this deal
Hokey. You don’t need this deal. There’s always another bus.
When you negotiate thinking you need this deal, you end up giving away what you really need and accepting instead what you could do without. You made the sale, but then you’re miserable. It’s winning the battle, but losing the war.
Before you negotiate any deal with any customer, write down what you must get from the deal as well as what you would want to get from it.
If the customer wants terms that violate your musts, then walk away. This is not someone you are meant to have an Impact on.
Be flexible on wants, but firm with your musts.
This is Leverage. Focus on doing the small number of things that give you big results. When you are crystal clear as to what you want from a deal, you can quickly walk away from the wrong prospect because it’s clearly not a match. No point in pretending otherwise. (Reality once again.)
Finally, Mental Toughness, as I see it, is forcing your mind to think in line with Reality, Impact and Leverage. There’s no end to the forces trying to get you to delude yourself.
So become mentally tough. It’s a matter of practice. It’s that simple and that difficult.
