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What Game Are You
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“Games” are interactions between people at work that are about confirming our views of others, rather than learning about others.
Usually they are carried out unconsciously, although we make sure they follow a predictable route. The point of the game is that we get to prove our view of how others are: “I told you he was a fool!”; “There you are, I told you that would happen!”.
Eric Berne, the originator of transactional analysis, has catalogued over 90 different games that are regularly played at work. Here are 12 of the most common. See how many you identify with.
1. Harrassed
Julie plays the game of “Harassed” as a way of blaming others for the amount of work she has to do. In the game, Julie sighs a lot, rushes about, finds work where none exists, and implies that it is all the fault of others that she has to work so hard.
2. Lunch Bag
Ian plays “Lunch Bag” to make others feel guilty. The game starts when everyone else goes off to lunch leaving Ian on his own. When everyone returns, Ian tells everyone how rushed off he was and implies that they were thoughtless to have left him on his own.
3. Yes...but
In “Yes…but”, Ray asks others for help with a problem but counters every suggestion with a “Yes…but” objection. Ray then complains to his boss that the rest of the team are unhelpful.
4. 4. Kick Me, Go On
Linda plays “Kick Me, Go On” when she’s feeling low and wants sympathy. She uses it when someone asks her to do something she doesn’t want to do as proof that everyone’s against her.
5. I’m Only Trying To Help
In “I’m Only Trying To Help”, Raj offers his help knowing full well that it is not needed. When he is rejected, he uses this as proof of how ungrateful others are.
6. If It Weren’t For You…
In “If It Weren’t For You…”, Lorraine drops lots of hints about the kind of life she could be leading now, the implication being that others have prevented her from fulfilling her dreams.
7. Rapo!
Ann uses “Rapo!” when she accepts an offer of help from Peter but doesn’t like the help he gives her. Instead of saying No, she eggs him on to show how he abuses her.
8. Poor Me!
The employee depicts him or herself to the boss as helpless. The boss feels sorry for the employee and avoids criticizing their inadequate performance.
9. Blemished
The boss discovers one blemish in an otherwise satisfactory piece of work. This is magnified so that the whole performance looks bad.
10. Hero
The boss sets up situations in which the employee is bound to fail. He or she then steps in to save the day and becomes the hero.
11. King of the Hill
The boss sets up situations in which the employee is placed in direct competition with him or her. The boss then steps in and demonstrates that they are more competent than the employee.
12. Cops and Robbers
The employee walks a fine line between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour but manages to keep one step ahead of the boss. The employee laughs at the boss’s incompetence and uses it to show how ineffective the boss is.
People who play games are nearly always stuck in their development. It is as if they are on a carousel that goes round and round only with different tunes.
For the health of the business and the growth of the individual, you need to stop the carousel and get them off.
Copyright, ManageTrainLearn.com
Eric Garner is the MD of ManageTrainLearn, which started out as a management training company in 1996 and is now a leading innovator in the creation of e-learning products designed to help you become a better manager, better trainer and better learner. Visit the company's website to sample their fascinating free training resources or sign up for their free 10-day Leadership Skills e-course by sending a blank email to leadership@freeautobot.com.
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Some Related Articles:
Transactional Analysis: An Introduction
Know Your Style Under Stress!
Passive Aggressive Behavior and Workplace Anger
When a Childish Manager Uses the 'Silent Treatment'
Quit Tolerating Crybabies!
What to Do About a Manipulating Coworker
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