Make Your Holiday Parties
Really Memorable!

Here come the holidays, which means you will most likely go to parties with relatives and friends whom you see once a year.

Here are three unusual strategies that will help you make these events truly memorable -- for the right reasons.

1. Seek out the grumpy ones

Grumpy people are grumpy for many reasons, including the rejection others have shown whileattempting to protect themselves from toxic grumpiness!

But this is that weird time of the year when people talk about odd things like peace, love, and hope. So, be different by practicing these seasonal values.

For example, sit next to a grumpy person. Then ask questions, such as "What's new?" or "How are you?" Use this as an opportunity to learn about what they're doing, what they've done, and what they're thinking about.

You may discover important things about your family history, their history, or their reasons for being grumpy. You may even find that they stop being grumpy.

Here is an important warning: you will most likely hear grumpy remarks (at least at first). After all, this is a grumpy person.

So, just listen. Show interest. Be impressed (if appropriate). Join them in being sad, serious, or skeptical.

Do not attempt to fix, change, or teach anything because unsolicited responses like these can make even a happy person feel grumpy.

2. Be the host

This is especially useful if you are attending someone else's party.

Greet everyone warmly. Praise people for everything and anything. Introduce people to each other. Spend time with everyone.

Help the actual host with party tasks, such as serving or cleaning up. In fact, be the ultimate gracious host.

Of course, be appropriate. The point here is to be a positive force of holiday goodness, not a superior example.

Your intent is to bring warmth, happiness, and friendship to the party, as if it were your own. Imagine, for example, how wonderful a party would be if everyone did this.

3. Learn something

Everyone knows something useful. And your best teachers are those who have more than you do.

So ask them to tell you about how they achieved their success. For example, ask the fellow with the new car how he earned the promotion. Or ask the woman with the stunning jewelry how she started her business.

You might also find unexpected wisdom in the younger people. For example, that teenager with the green hair who works at a funky clothing store might be able to provide valuable ideas on retail, marketing, and sales.

Or that quiet kid with the iPod might be able to tell you what's happening in software design, web technologies, and next generation hardware.

View every party as a scavenger hunt for learning. The people in the room carry a fortune in experience with them. And they will be delighted to tell (brag sometimes) about what they know.

Now, here are important considerations when applying these strategies.

First, you don't have to agree with the ideas, history, news, interpretations, "facts," or anything that people say.

But you do have to agree with how they feel! So, you might find yourself saying things like:

"You must feel hurt by that."

"You must feel angry that this happened."

"Wow! You must be proud of that."

And so on.

Second, realize that your job is to find a way to like others -- and not to make others like you.

And yet, if you show interest, acceptance, and compassion for others, you find that they think you're the most wonderful person at the party.

For example, the grumpy person who told you about cancer will think you're the only decent person on earth.

The successful executive who told you about a complex marketing strategy will think you're a genius.

The kid who told you about a new operating system will think you're the perfect adult.

And that's what makes a party memorable.

Bonus Idea: What if you applied these strategies at home and at work all year long. Do you think it might make a difference?

©2006 Steve Kaye

Steve Kaye helps leaders hold effective meetings. He is an IAF Certified Professional Facilitator, author, and speaker. His meeting facilitation and leadership workshops create success for everyone. Call 714-528-1300 for details. Visit http://www.stevekaye.com for a free report.

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