How You Can Become
a More Interesting Person

To be seen as interesting when conversing with others, you have to break out of the mold of the ordinary and predictable. You don't have to appear odd or weird, but you do have to show some differences.

by Loren Ekroth, Ph.D.

Most of you would probably prefer to be regarded as "interesting" rather than ordinary, not so?

Here's a key premise: Sameness is the enemy of interesting. As marketing guru Seth Grodin pointed out in his book, Purple Cow (2003), you grab and hold people's interest by being remarkable. That is, others remark upon you.

As you drive along the roads through dairy country, you would take little notice of the ordinary cows in the fields. You've seen thousands of those. But if you spot a PURPLE cow, that creature has your attention!

The recent (April 15, 2008) issue of American Way, the airline's magazine, features an article about an unusual New York talent agency called "Ugly." (That name got MY attention.)

The agency specializes in photography models who are not beautiful, but very interesting to look at. Not really ugly, but arresting because of their unusual features like eyes, noses, hair, and jaws. As it happens, such people are very much in demand by advertisers, and the agency is thriving.

Six simple ways

Here are six simple ways to make yourself more interesting while conversing with others.

1. Dare to be a little bit different, a little eccentric. Eccentricity has a way of attracting people because it stands out from the conventional and ordinary. What differentiates you from the crowd?

2. Instead of prattling on about yourself, prepare some good questions to ask of others to show your real interest in them. Good listeners are in short supply in the population, and showing sincere interest in others will make you something of a rarity. You will stand out.

3. Stay current and fresh with your information. When someone asks you "What's new?", have something new to share. (By all means, avoid the common cliché, "Same old, same old.") Offering something fascinating to the conversation makes you more interesting.

4. Inject some provocative questions into ordinary conversations. "What's one of the most fascinating projects you're working on now, or would like to work on?" (>An example: A few days ago I asked a friend who was back on R&R from Iraq what he had become clearer on sinceI last saw him 8 months earlier. This question led to a 20-minute detour that was very rich for us both.)

5. Instead of being argumentative, be curious and open-minded so that you can listen calmly to others who have differing opinions and viewpoints. Ask people how they came to hold certain views, for example, and listen with acceptance (which is not the same thing as agreement.) People appreciate the opportunity to be heard and validated.

6. Develop your story-telling skills so that you can recount your experience in a lively and entertaining manner. These skills will help you convert "ordinary" matters into colorful and fascinating tales. Some of our greatest humorists (the late Erma Bombeck comes to mind) used only "ordinary" life experience subjects like kids, kitchens, and PTA meetings, then presented them with a twist, or an unusual angle. (To pick up good story-telling skills, pay attention to what the best story-tellers do. Then practice those things.)

Loren Ekroth © 2008, All rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people. Contact Loren at Loren@conversation-matters.com. Check out a wealth of valuable resources and articles at http://www.conversation-matters.com and subscribe to his weekly free Better Conversations ezine (which also entitles you to two very informative reports).

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