How to Turn Water into Lemonade
by Giving Flavored Answers
to Fruitless Questions

Do you answer ritual questions with a monosyllable just to be polite and get on with your life? Here's a better way that will bring a whole range of exciting benefits.

By Scott Ginsberg

PART ONE

I remember the first time I opened the fridge to get a drink of water and accidentally grabbed the wrong pitcher...

Glug...glug...glug...

Ahhh! Lemonade! My cheeks tingled from the surprising tart flavor as I gulped down an unexpected swig of Country Time.

Woooo-weee! That woke me up at 6 in the morning!

When it comes to conversation, giving flavored answers to fruitless questions works the same way. Think about your responses to ritual questions like “How are you?”, “What’s up?”, “How’s business?” or “How you doin?” (If you live in New York City)

What’s your answer? "Good"? "Great"? "Grand"? "Wonderful? Perhaps you use the ever popular Fine!

Guess what? Your answers are BOR-ing!

In fact, fine is probably the worst of the lot - it can mean anything! For example, last summer I went to a Cardinals game on a warm Sunday afternoon and felt fine until I vomited from eating 4 orders of nachos...after which I told my girlfriend I felt fine. (F.I.N.E is actually an acronym for “Feelings I’m Not Expressing")

Nevertheless, these close-ended, one syllable words are conversation killers. They offer limited spice to your encounters. And most of the time, people use them as fast getaways to be polite, say hello, and get on with their isolated lives.

On the other hand, when you offer a flavored answer to a fruitless question, it magnetizes people. It makes you more approachable. People won't be able to resist talking to you because you will be so darn sweet!

In other words, you will turn water into lemonade.

Fine doesn't sell couches

I first tried flavored answers a few years ago when I sold furniture in Portland. As a salesman, it was my job to greet every person that came through the store. Daily, my opener to customers was a simple, “Good morning, how are ya?”

People responded with "Good!""Fine!","Excellent!" or whatever bland, monosyllabic pseudo emotion that disguised their real feelings which ended the conversation so the annoying salesman would walk away.

But then, they'd ask the same question back to me. I would respond with such flavored answers as "Exhausted from lifting couches," "This place is a circus on Sundays!" or "I’m hopped up on sugar from our free donuts!"

No customer ever walked away from me! No customer felt uncomfortable! And no customer avoided eye contact so he wouldn’t have to talk to some pushy salesman.

But every customer had fun. Every customer smiled. And every customer engaged with and related to me as they eventually offered their real states of mind.

Then all of the sudden, my sales skyrocketed! Customers loved me! We got to know each other through engaging, fun conversations which made the sales process relaxed and personable.

And all I did was give a flavored answer to a fruitless question. (Therein lies a mini sales lesson on building rapport with your customers!)

Seven basic ingredients

Your flavored answers must also have a mixture of the right ingredients. Here are seven characteristics that will lay a foundation from which you can create your own flavor. Read these, and soon you will be turning water into lemonade with only a few words!

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...original. Become known for the way you answer mundane questions with something unique and creative.

When I saw George Carlin in concert, he told the audience this: “I hate answering the same stupid, mundane questions in the same, stupid way. So I’ve decided that every month, I will use a new adjective just to keep my answers fresh. This month, it’s ubiquitous.”

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...a personification of your attitude. People can learn a great deal about your attitudes and values simply by the way you reply to “How are you doing?” What’s more, flavored answers to fruitless questions are self-fulfilling prophecies: tell someone you’re “On top of the world,” and you just might find yourself there.

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...surprising. Say something completely unexpected. Say the exact opposite of what the person expects to hear.

Several years ago I was wearing a Michigan Football hat the day after Ohio State demolished them 49-10. A man wearing an Ohio jersey approached me, rudely got in my face and with utter arrogance said, “Hey man - did you see the Ohio State/Michigan game last night?!”

“No, I don’t like sports.”

He was silenced. Dumfounded. A complete a loss for words! I smiled back and he ended up changing the subject after which we had a friendly conversation.

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...appealing. Use your smile, tone of voice and even touch to activate and enliven the senses. This combination of words and actions will make your answers almost seem three dimensional!

My friend Samantha once suggested the idea of having “National High Five Day” in order to make conversations more fun! Now that would add some flavor to the fruitless!

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...memorable. Discover words that differentiate you. Millions of conversations take place every minute. So, what can you say that resonates in someone’s heart that they haven’t already heard 20 times today?

I’ll never forget the time I asked an elderly man, “How are you?” to which he replied, “I’m old, I’m Italian, and I’m rich!”

MAKE YOUR ANSWER...honest and open. People are afraid to disclose the way they really feel in response to mundane, ritual questions because: there’s little time to do so, revealing emotions doesn’t seem worth it, or “fine” is just the first word that comes out of their mouths. This isn’t conducive to much reciprocation or flow in your conversation.

Self-disclosure is reciprocal

But have you ever gone out of your way to truly answer openly and honestly? Here’s an example that demonstrates the reciprocal nature of self-disclosure.

A few months ago I was working the lobby door at the Ritz Carlton when my eyelids just about closed on me. I was exhausted from working all day. As a guest rapidly approached the hotel I greeted him with, “Welcome in sir, how are you this evening?”

“Fine, how are you?” he quickly replied.

“Tired.”

He almost flew right past me, but the moment that word came out of my mouth he stopped in his tracks! He looked back with a tilted-head smile and said:

“Yeah… I guess I’m kinda tired too. I had a long day of meetings and I just want to get some sleep.”

That’s odd…I thought he was “fine.”

GO TO PART TWO

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "the world's foremost field expert on nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He works with people and organizations who want to become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions through its website:http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.