How to Turn Water into Lemonade
by Giving Flavored Answers
to Fruitless Questions

• Back to Part One

Cherise the Waitress

About once a month I eat at a restaurant in St. Louis called Ozzie’s, named after the great Cardinals shortstop. This is where I first met Cherise. One day, after taking note of my “ready to order” behavior, she walked over to my table.

“Good afternoon, my name is Cherise - how are you today?”

“I’m awesome, how about yourself?”

“I’m blessed, thanks for asking!”

Wait a sec. Did she just say “blessed”?

“Excuse me Cherise, but did I just hear you say ‘blessed’?”

“Yes I did! I’m just so fortunate to be blessed in all areas of my life and I love to share that with all of my customers!”

Wow. Now that’s a flavored answer. I inquired further about Cherise’s “blessed” life and discovered she was not only a waitress but a musician who was in the process of signing her first record contract.

Now…in my life, I’ve had somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 bazillion waitresses. Give or take a few. But I never had anyone like Cherise.

Her original answer turned water into lemonade because she created memorable presence. Once she said “I’m blessed, thanks for asking!” I no longer saw her as a waitress, but as a magnification of God’s love whom I would never forget.

Henry the Bellman

I met Henry during one of my first shifts at the Ritz Carlton St. Louis. You can’t miss the guy: fifty five years old, six-foot-six and always smiling!

One evening as I waited by the front door, I noticed Henry strutting in my direction. As he passed by, I quickly glanced at his nametag and introduced myself, “Hi Henry, I’m Scott - how ya’ doin?”

I’ll never forget what he said next: “Alright! Everything is beautiful!”

Hmmm…awfully chipper for someone about to work 11 PM – 7 AM, wouldn’t you say? I later discovered that Henry had been the overnight bellman for more than 10 years. He strutted into work every night at 11:00 PM, and didn’t leave until every shoe was polished, every bag was delivered and every guest got his newspaper.

And Henry always had a smile on his face.

I found Henry's flavored answer to be incredibly magnetic because it surprised me. The overnight bellman is not the most glamorous of positions; it’s not the most profitable and it’s certainly not the most recognized. But Henry doesn’t care.

To Henry, everything is beautiful. Even if it’s late at night. Even if there’s a million things to do. Everything is beautiful. And to this day, Henry still says that same sentence every time I see him.

Jeffery the Salesman

Last year I attended Jeffrey Gitomer's sales seminar. During one of the modules in his presentation, Jeffry spoke about using positive sales verbiage. He asked the audience to chorally respond to mundane questions like “How is business?” or “What’s new with work?”

Most people in the audience yelled “Business is slow”, “It’s picking up,” or “Well, the economy is down.”

“Your answers suck!!” Jeffery said.

“You’re in sales to make money!” he continued, “So when people ask ‘How is business?’ say something like, “Cashin’ checks baby!”

Now, keep in mind Jeffery isn’t your typical salesman, so his answers won’t work for everybody. But his flavored responses are honest,open and funny.

And I am lucky enough to call Jeffery one of my friends, so I will attest that as a person, he is honest, open and funny. Therefore his answers also personify his attitude.

Six benefits you will receive

Now that you have discovered which ingredients will enhance your flavor, you are ready to turn water into lemonade.

Whether you're with a customer, making a new friend, on a date or networking with colleagues, here are the six benefits that you will receive when you offer flavored answers to fruitless questions.

YOUR ANSWER WILL...show someone that you care. This is undoubtedly the most important virtue of communication. The openness and honesty of your flavored answer will show someone that you value the conversation, and therefore, them as a person.

YOUR ANSWER WILL...make a good first impression. We spend so much time on our appearance, dress and behaviors that we often overlook the importance of the first five seconds. This is the amount of time during which people decide if they like you or not.

YOUR ANSWER WILL...build trust. Self-disclosure – the act of making yourself manifest – is reciprocal commensurate with the amount of information you reveal. So, whether you’re at a sales meeting, on a date or joining a club, give part of yourself to the other person immediately. They will do the same, and as a result you will feel like you’ve known each other for years!

YOUR ANSWER WILL...remind people that talking to you was worth it. Have you ever left a conversation with someone and said, “Boy…I'm sure glad I talked to him!”? Now, what if everyone starting saying that about you?

YOUR ANSWER WILL...trigger someone’s psychological need to be included. I don’t care how much of a rush, how bad of a day or how tired people are – they need be included and engage with each other.

YOUR ANSWER WILL...magnetize people to you. How could anyone hear the words "Everything is beautiful" and not be completely drawn to the person who said it?

Make 'em tingle!

Every time someone asks a fruitless question like "How are you?" "What's up?" or "How's business?" they expect to hear you say "fine." They expect to have their level of conversational depth reciprocated. In other words, they expect water.

But you're not going to give them water, are you? Negative.

You are going to turn water into lemonade by offering a flavored answer to a fruitless question. You are going to give a surprising, honest, appealing, memorable and fun answer that personifies your attitude so they can walk away from your conversation feeling that special tingle.

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "the world's foremost field expert on nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He works with people and organizations who want to become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions through its website:http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

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Schmoozing is for Suckers
Why Do You Ask?
Success Strategies for Combating Conversational Crappiness
How to Avoid Falling Asleep Behind the Conversational Wheel
How to Converse With an Anxious Person
Bringing Out the Best in Others During Conversation
Why I Can't Start a Conversation With You?
Why Aren't You Talking to Me?
Excuse Me, Have We Met Before?

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