Conversational Nourishment

Conversation, like food, provides nourishment.

Or not.

For example, a carrot or a piece of fresh fruit provides good, nourishing stuff. But cotton-candy or Twinkies do not.

Similarly, a positive, personal conversation with a friend provides emotional and energetic nourishment. But a petty argument of name-calling, or vicious gossip, do not.

Part of the talk-food we ingest comes from the words. More of it comes from the "vibe" of the talk – the emotional energy transmitted by voice, facial expression, body movements, and even a person's bio-field of subtle energy that extends out from the body.

The emotional economy

You've had the experience of being in a room with someone who is clinically depressed, or quietly enraged, or simply embittered. That person becomes part of the emotional economy of the room where negative and positive energies are exchanged.

You don't even have to talk to the person but only to be nearby to pick up their down energies. Just like catching a common cold.

You've probably also had the experience of listening to a person speaking a language utterly unknown to you. Armenian, for example, or Finnish.

Most of the time you can accurately sense the emotions they are expressing despite not understanding their words. (and your dog or cat, communicating as they do in the realm of nonverbal messaging, are even more sensitive to such vibrational signals.)

A practical demonstration

My colleague Dr. Robert Rausch (author of Energy Matters) performs a simple muscle test to demonstrate how one person's energy can affect another, even one a distance away.

He lines up three people, A, B, and C and asks them to hold hands. Then he privately asks person A to think of someone who has hurt them. When he does a muscle-test with person C's arm, it tests weak because of the energy negativity transmitted from A through B to C.

When he asks A to think of a positive experience and tests C again, the muscles test firm and strong. (By "muscle testing" I mean the behavioral kinesiology test used by many chiropractors and other professionals in the healing arts.)

Even over the telephone!

Why is it that you sometimes feel an emotional change after listening to a brief outgoing message when you phone?

Very likely because the subtle emotional energy in the voice acts as a mood-trigger. It's affecting you via the unconscious sensing apparatus in your amygdala or hypothalamus. You may feel irritable for a while from ingesting an energy you can't identify. Solid experimental research has clearly demonstrated how this process works.

Professionals also get poor nutrition

Imagine then how psychological professionals may suffer from the emotional contagion of their clients. During six to eight hours a day listening to troubled people in their presence, people carrying fear, depression, rage, grief, or other negative emotions. To do this day after day is like being marinated in a soup of negativity.

Similarly, dentists must deal with fearful patients, and social workers their troubled clients. All of these contacts take their toll.

Maintain a balanced diet of talk

The self-deceiving over-eater says, "Oh, just a little slice of cheesecake won't hurt." But it does hurt over time with obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and a score of other afflictions.

In a similar way, too much negative talk or behavior is hurtful because it is stressful to the psyche and the body.

So balance your diet of the kind of talk you take in, both personally and through the media. To do so may mean that you'll have to reduce the time you spend with certain people whose talk and behavior put you in a negative emotional place.

Instead, the best talk-diet will be available from persons you respect and admire, people who are positive and supportive and emotionally healthy.

Seek them out and you'll get real nourishment.

Loren Ekroth © 2006, All rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people. Contact Loren at Loren@conversation-matters.com. Check out a wealth of valuable resources and articles at http://www.conversation-matters.com.

Some Related Articles:
Six Simple Aids to Conversation Confidence
Bored With Small Talk? Make It Bigger!
Making Conversation Safe for Others
When NOT to Listen
Don't Make a Nuisance of Yourself!
Why Change Conversation Habits?
Conversation Games
Is Your Communicating As Good As Your Driving
Ten Top Icebreakers for Holiday Mingling
Six Benefits of Better Conversation