How to Increase Your People Power

by Donna Fisher

Click here for Part One

7- The Power of Small Talk

Small talk is a style of conversation that allows people to get to know one another in a non-threatening manner. Small talk is not insignificant chit-chat.

Expand Your Comfort Zone Are you at ease making conversation with someone you don't know, or do you avoid making eye contact? Ask yourself the following questions: What steps am I willing to take to expand my comfort zone? In what settings am I willing to take the initiative to approach new people? Who do I know who is good at generating conversations with new people? What do I notice about this person that can be helpful?

It is the exploratory stage in conversation that leads to discovering commonalties and opportunities-- and conversation is where networking happens.

Learning to approach people with confidence is a professional skill. It is not about making people talk or cornering people on elevators, but about your ability to open the door to conversation with the people right around you.

When you focus on putting people at ease and show an interest in learning more about others, small talk leads to connection, trust and rapport. Have you ever noticed yourself in a conversation that seems to be going nowhere? Then all of a sudden you find that you have something in common with the other person and the conversation takes off.

Be interested in and curious about people. Most people are waiting on someone else to make the conversation interesting. Remember you are part of the conversation, and you have the power to direct the conversation to a topic that is of interest and value.

Opportunities exist all around you-- wherever people are, networking is possible.

8- The Power of Listening

Key Phrases to Listen For "I want . . ." "I need . . ." "I'm looking for . . ." "I'm involved in a project that . . ." "My goal is to . . ." "I'm having a problem with . . ."

Listening is the heart of communication, but most people listen as if listening is simply a matter of not talking.

Listening is about being mentally engaged in what the other person is saying. Masterful listening means giving your full attention to someone else to create a connection that goes beyond the words that are being said.

It is through listening that people connect and develop trust and rapport. It is about more than just hearing the words. Listening and responding to your clients or prospects when there is nothing in it for you will help you to strengthen your relationships with them and reap rewards in the future.

Also, listen for what non-business needs you can fill. There are many opportunities to do this: recommending an auto mechanic, a florist, a dentist, a travel agent. The sale is just the beginning in building a client relationship that will lead to a lifetime of repeat business and referrals.

9- The Power of Speaking Up

Start Your Introduction With . . . "I love helping people . . ." "I make sure my clients . . ." "I enjoy . . ." "I am committed to working with people to . . ." "I am dedicated to . . ." "I love working with . . . to . . ." "My focus is to . . ."

Are you one of those people you grew up hearing the phrase, "Don't toot your own horn!" and responded by going to the other extreme? If so, it's time you learned to speak up!

You don't have to brag or be aggressive. But you must learn to speak with pride and confidence about who you are and what you have to offer.

Always speak to the value and benefit of what you provide people. Most people introduce themselves by merely giving their name, title and the name of their company. To connect with people you must include in your introduction a phrase or tag line that helps people relate to what you can do for them.

10- The Power of Asking

How to Be Effective with Your Requests Be clear about what you want Ask for what you want Make your request as concise and specific as possible Make your request with no demands and no strings attached Ask in such a way that people feel acknowledged and included Ask often

People are often hesitant to ask for help or information for fear of rejection or concern about bothering people. In reality, most people feel flattered, acknowledged and glad to help, but you have to be the one to open the door and give them permission.

The power of asking is that it builds relationships, and allows people to get involved in creating opportunities. Asking for help and information is a way of including people and actually acknowledging them for the contribution or knowledge they have to share. There are so many contacts available to you from the people who are all around you.

11- The Power of Thinking Big

Stretch Your Reach! Who are some of the people you have never contacted because you thought they were out of your reach? List their names; then ask yourself the following questions about each one: Why do I want to contact this person? What do I think this person can do for me? What could I do for this person? Which of the people I know could be the link or stepping-stone in contacting this person?

When you notice yourself thinking, "I've called everyone I know," think again!

Everyone has anywhere from 250 to 3,000 contacts. If you know 250 people and each of those people knows 250 people, then at the second level of your network are over 64,000 people! Every person you know could be a resource for an influential, life-changing contact with someone.

Don't ever think that something is out of your reach. Don't ever think you've contacted everyone there is to contact. You have the choice and opportunity to have your network lead you to resources beyond your imagination.

12- The Power of Commitment

The difference between a mediocre networker, who occasionally produces results and experiences sporadic satisfaction and gratification, and a master networker, is the level of commitment they have. That comes from a deep awareness of the long-term value of networking.

Is networking a good idea? Absolutely. It is the most cost-effective marketing tool for growing your business and reaching an endless stream of influential contacts. But there is also documentation that people who have a strong support system tend to live longer and recover more quickly from illness.

With commitment, these principles become a natural part of who you are. Good ideas are not the basis for results you produce in your life - your daily actions and habits are!

Making a commitment to yourself, your relationships, and these principles is the most powerful step you can take toward a life of richness.

Networking is like a treasure hunt. With a treasure hunt, you know there are jewels out there, you just don't know where, and the fun is in finding the jewels.

With networking,too, there are jewels out there everywhere-- you just don't know where. So you meet this person, talk to this person, go to this meeting, call another person ... and sometimes nothing will happen until all of a sudden you'll find one of those jewels!

And sometimes those jewels show up in the most unexpected places.

Let your life be a treasure hunt! Let it be fun. Let it be an exploration, and I guarantee you'll have a life full of jewels!

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Donna Fisher, CSP is a marketing consultant, motivational speaker, author and expert on people and how people can best communicate and connect with one another to create opportunities. She is the president of both Donna Fisher Presents, a provider of keynotes and trainings for corporate meetings, conferences and conventions, and HiHat Inc., a manufacturing and retail business for drums and percussion instruments. Her four books, Power Networking, People Power, Power NetWeaving and Professional Networking for Dummies have been translated in four languages, recommended by Time Magazine and used as reference books in corporations and universities.

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