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The Queen and Her Bobble-Heads:
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It all seems so nice...on the surface.
Everyone seems to be on the same page and even in the same book, yet, there is that ‘something' you can't quite put your finger on.
It's not much, really. That person on your team or your board who smiles and calmly affirms that, of course, we all want the same thing.
But, why doesn't it feel like that?
It's the hidden agenda. The American Heritage Dictionary says that a hidden agenda is "an undisclosed plan, especially one with an ulterior motive." The plan is often not quite as hidden as the motive and that is what bothers us.
Have you ever sat in a meeting, staring intently at a colleague, shaking your head and screaming internally:
"Why are you doing that? What is REALLY going on in that mind of yours?"
If so, you may well be facing a hidden agenda.
Recently, I was working with a board of directors of a non-profit organization. Here you would like to believe that you would find altruistic, compassionate people with high integrity. After all, they are giving their time for the good of others.
NOT NECESSARILY! Most of the board members were dedicated souls committed to doing the best possible job for the organization. Three were definitely not.
| She waited like a cheetah for her moment, then sprang to her feet |
After watching the board through several meetings, I became fascinated by the dynamics. (That's a good thing for a consultant to become!) One member stood out as she followed a predictable pattern: conversation on a topic proceeded, she waited like a cheetah for her moment, then sprang to her feet and suggested a radical plan. She is quick-thinking and two-faced. A poor combination!
Unless you were very alert, you might not pick up the inconsistencies in her thinking, and, therefore, in her suggestions. One might call her a ‘convenient thinker'. When it was convenient for information to be interpreted one way, she did it. Immediately requiring the information to reflect the opposite, she jumped to the other side. Due to her ability with words, she even made it seem logical to be so duplicitous.
And, she has "bobble-heads"!
That's my term for people who want approval and power and think they get it from agreeing with someone who appears to have both. They don't think for themselves but align themselves with people they perceive as having power. Therefore, whenever their exalted leader makes a move, they nod in agreement without even knowing what that person has up their sleeve. Got a bobble-head or two in mind now?
Each person has their own processing time—the time it takes to fully integrate what someone says and the implications of their position. When a quick-thinking, fast-talking person demands action, makes motions and overruns the chairperson, those who process more slowly are left wondering what happened.
Those left in the dust are intelligent, dedicated, interested board members, but no match for the slickster who appears to be expediting board business at a grand clip. Board business seems to be going the way of the Queen and often to the detriment of the organization and to the benefit of her and her Bobble-heads.
Many times, a flurry of emails followed those board meetings.
"What happened...???"
"I felt manipulated...."
"I'm confused...."
"I don't think that was right...."
"Can I withdraw my seconding that motion...?"
"I think we had better have another meeting."
But, the motion was made and the vote taken. Action follows and no one but the Queen and her Bobble-heads are happy.
Are the bobble-heads really happy? They are as long as their fearless leader is winning. Watch how quickly they begin staring at their boots when that leader is exposed!
This board had been functioning with the same dynamics for years. Why? This woman had made it her business to stay on or join the board whenever it made sense for her purpose. Did she want the organization to succeed? It sounded as though she did, however, her behavior soon became transparent as I probed her thinking at meetings. I asked at one point:
"I'm confused. You clearly said that these facts and figures supported your position and now you are saying the opposite. Which is true?"
| The air was filled with her palpable grapple for words |
The air was filled with her palpable grapple for words and reasons. She may be fast, but she was not used to being questioned, only agreed with. Logic was unknown to her except as it suited her purposes. This simple question of mine threatened her mightily with exposure of her inconsistencies and the convenience of her thinking.
What was her response? To attack me, of course. Soon she was asking for my credentials and questioning why I was hired. It only took a moment to assure her that she, in fact, had hired me for all the right reasons.
Unfortunately, that logic was her undoing and she knew the jig was up...and so did all the other board members.
Now, we could actually change the dynamics and expose and expunge the hidden power agenda. Transparency - essential in all dealings if people matter at all -could be established.
This is an extreme case and I use it here to illustrate for you what might be going on in your office or boardroom. What followed in my work with this board was much training on two levels: communication, conflict management and team-building skills, and, collaborative decision-making processes.
| Ask questions right at the moment you have them |
What if you are faced with the Queen and her Bobble-heads? The first important step is to ask questions right at the moment you have them..
Why don't we speak up immediately? We may think the issue will become clearer if we watch and listen longer, and we don't have to risk appearing uninformed or confrontational. That is simply a matter of learning better communication skills.
Asking simple questions based on information rather than emotion is the intelligent move. No need to pin anyone down on the mat. Just ask:
"It's unclear to me at this moment how those two items are related. Could you please tell me more about that?"
A simple request for information. Yes, the speaker may infer that you are missing essential brain cells. However, always remember that that is a tactic to make themselves feel superior. Just let it go by without comment and return to the logic.
People with hidden agendas tend to get very upset when you do not become engaged or enraged. They want to shift the conversation to the emotional and the personal. Your intent is to keep it impersonal and focused on facts. That's an excellent first step.
Still hanging back without speaking up? Ask yourself which is worse: risking getting clarification now or living with the consequences!
Exposing hidden agendas is not always a simple matter that can be cleared up quickly and directly. Unaddressed, however, it will never go away.
Step up fearlessly and intelligently. There are people waiting to follow your lead. That makes you the leader!
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, http://www.opitmizeinstitute.com
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is a ‘people skills’ expert—a noted speaker, author, executive coach and founder of the Optimize! Institute in Escondido, CA. Dr. Shaler works with organizations that know their people are their top resource and with leaders who know that building relationships is a top priority. She is the author of What You Pay Attention to Expands and Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, as well as more than a dozen books and audio programs published in nine languages. Subscribe to her ezine, The Rhino Wrestler, at http://www.opitmizeinstitute.com
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