How to Exploit the Ripple Effect

Everything we do or say matters.

"The Ripple Effect" suggests that our words and actions "ripple out" beyond that one interaction, like the effect of throwing a pebble in a pond. I learned years ago from a mentor, Donald K. Smith, Vice President of the University of Minnesota, that the ideas and attitudes we presented in our classes did not stop with the students. Instead, they rippled out into the larger community and affected many others in the families of students and towns from which they came. When the words and the ideas they carry are positive, they create a kind of "virtuous circle."

When you speak or act positively, not only the receiver, but you,too, are nourished.

Moreover, speaking positively primes your emotional pump so that it flows even more. The more you express ("give away"), the more you have available.

Here are seven ideas to help you create a positive and powerful "ripple effect" around you:

1. Thank others for their friendship and help

You'll have many opportunities during the holidays to do this, just as I did a few days ago at an association's annual holiday party. I saw many old friends who had contributed to my life in the past year, and thanking them was easy. I felt great!

"Thanks are the highest form of thought." --G.K. Chesterton

2. Greet others cheerfully

When you encounter friends or meet new people, be upbeat.

"For when the heart is cheerful, it cannot be filled with fear, and without fear, the way ahead seems more distinct and clear." --Helen Steiner Rice (1900-1981)

Last September, Gov. Nikki R. Haley ordered state workers to cheerfully answer phones with the phrase "It's a great day in South Carolina." At a meeting of her cabinet, Ms. Haley said the phrase would put workers in a better mood and remind them that they work for the public. And it did!

3. Listen with interest

A Native American Medicine Man asked: "When is the last time you listened to the stories of others?"

People hunger to be listened to. By giving them your presence and full attention, you will nourish them. You can simply ask "What's going on in your life right now?" to get started. Just listen and accept, and if they share some challenges they're dealing with, don't give them "chin-up advice." Just listen with understanding.

4. Share an uplifting life-story

When your friend asks "What's new?" you could share a positive experience, such as "I really enjoyed wrapping the gifts our church members have bought for CASA kids without parents who live in foster homes. A dozen of us got together yesterday to wrap the presents we'll take to their Christmas party."

Or you could say "I've been reminiscing" and then tell them a story from your childhood, like when you and your dad went into the forest and found just the right tree to bring home and decorate.

Or that you wrote a recommendation that helped a friend land a job.

Or that you attended a family reunion, and how good it was to see your cousins.

Everyone has positive stories to tell. Dozens, probably hundreds

5. Encourage others: Shine your light on what's bright

When a child or does something really well, let them know with a few words of praise that you noticed it.

"Billy, I see you are keeping your room very clean and neat. Good for you!"

If you're a supervisor in the workplace, "Catch someone doing something right" and let them know that you noticed. "You did that project really well, Sally!"

"Note how good you feel after you have encouraged someone else. No other argument is necessary to suggest that you should never miss the opportunity to give encouragement." --George Burton Adams

6. Read aloud or tell an inspiring story to children

Maybe read Dr. Seuss or a Bible story. Or make up a story.

(I can still remember stories made up and told me by a baby sitter when I was in kindergarten. All her stories were about "Koo-Koo and Spitteringtum," two little field mice who overcame all kinds of obstacles. I told them to my son.)

(If you're not current with the best stories, ask the children's librarian at your public library.)

7. Give $1 to persons holding a cardboard sign.

In my city, homeless folks stand on the corners of intersections. Most are men, often unshaven and in ragged clothing. Many, I think, are veterans. In my car I carry a stack of dollar bills and give them away one at a time, each enough for a sandwich on the value menu. Then I give thanks for my own good fortune and feel good about helping out someone who is down and out. "Would but for the grace of God, there go I."

Loren Ekroth © 2011, All rights reserved

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people. Contact Loren at Loren@conversation-matters.com. Check out a wealth of valuable resources and articles at http://www.conversation-matters.com and subscribe to his weekly free Better Conversations ezine (which also entitles you to two very informative reports).