by Anne Warfield

Do you ever feel as though you have to put on your armor when you're negotiating with a prospect or client?

Have you ever wished you could find a way to negotiate that was strong and firm -- yet creative and consultative at the same time? Would you like to be able to state what you want … and still be seen as a partner? If so, read on.

The negotiation phase really can be a time to build a relationship and speak honestly and directly with the other party. Even if with a one-time negotiation, you don't need to use tricky "lines" or similar tricks to get what you want.

Most people are willing to be flexible during negotiations ..if they believe the other party perceives them as knowledgeable, honest and able to make a deal.

Here are three key strategies to keep in mind when negotiating.

1. Have a game plan or strategy.

Your game plan or strategy is a starting point -- a brief outline of what you'd like to accomplish and how.

It is not a rigid rulebook to be appealed to throughout the negotiation, no matter what. You are working with another human being, someone who doesn't appreciate being "backed into a corner" any more than you would.

Set a strategy, with clear goals and possible tactics, but be willing to revise it as circumstances and your most important interests warrant.

2. Begin with the right mindset

Most people go in to negotiations thinking one of two things:

"I have to win at all cost. I don't want to look stupid. I have done my homework and, by gosh, I know what X, Y, and Z cost. I am not going to be taken advantage of! "

"Please, please, just be reasonable and give me X, Y, and Z without a hassle. I really don't want to fight with you over this."

Do you see any problem with these approaches?

Each one has faith in you, but not the other party. That immediately makes negotiation difficult.

If you believe the other party will try to take advantage of you, then you lose you biggest edge - the perception that the other person will do anything they can do to help you. That's the mindset you have to start with.

Believe me: People can tell whether you believe in the best or worst of them. They will try to live up to either expectation.

3. Know what kind of person you're dealing with

This is the biggie, and it's the subject I will spend the most time on here.

Most people make the mistake of assuming there is a single list of "tough negotiating tactics" that works with everyone.

When I first started negotiating multi-million dollar deals, I really felt I had to have all these "hardball tactics" in place. I practiced saying, "Is that the best you can do?" in a mirror with a serious face.

Hardball was my style. I liked to negotiate fast -- and I liked to win!

But there was something missing. I noticed that every time I went to negotiate I had to roll up my sleeves and out-think my opponent again. The process got combative It just plain wasn't fun, and I don't believe I always got the best deal I could.

I was leaving out the human equation -- what makes different people tick.

What I am about to share with you works whether you love to negotiate or you hate it with a passion. It works whether you know whom you are negotiating with ahead of time or you are surprised on the spot.

It often results in your leaving the table with more than you came to ask for! (That's what my clients have told me, and it's also my personal experience.) The challenge is that what you're about to learn does require practice and thought to execute well.

Ask yourself: What is the personality style of the other person and how does that affect how he or she negotiates?

Not every person negotiates from the same point of view. Each person has a different stake in a negotiation and you need to know what concerns the other party the most.

You also need to know what your own style is. Most people negotiate in the style they are most comfortable with and they try to bring the other party around to their way of thinking.

This doesn't work, for reasons that will become clear to you shortly.

NEXT: Part Two

Part Three

As the leading Outcome Strategist, Anne Warfield shows people how to present their ideas, products and services so people want to listen to them. Her communication formula is easy to apply and produces proven results. Fortune 500 companies around the world have utilized her expertise and her work is published around the world. She speaks internationally about Outcome Focus™ Communication. To book Anne, contact her at 888-imp-9421 or email contact@impressionmanagement.com. Check out her web site at http://www.impressionmanagement.com where you can also take a communication quiz. Purchase her books at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.