Turning Gossip into Kindness

Wow, that's a great question. And you are right!

Unfortunately, gossip has become so mainstream, accepted, and yes . . . even encouraged(!) that it's difficult for people to understand they are not acting appropriately when engaged in this most destructive of habits. That's why they don't pick up on your "subtle hints."

There are three other steps - more direct - you can take, and each of these must be done very tactfully and graciously.

Step One: Chip in with something positive

The first is to, every time something negative is said about a particular person, chip in with a positive comment about them.

After a while it'll be noticed, and may even elicit a sarcastic response such as, "Well aren't you Mr./Ms. Nice Person." You can then POLITELY say, "You know the saying, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.'"

They'll either change the subject or make a weak, defensive joke, but it'll have an effect.

Step Two: Ask to switch the topic

They'll either change the subject or make a weak, defensive joke, but it'll have an effect.

Step Three: Just walk away!

Thirdly, and finally, you can simply walk away. Again, not with an "attitude" or in overt disgust, but simply walk away.

If they ask why, just politely tell them your reason. They'll either change the subject or make a weak, defensive joke, but it'll have an effect.

Yes, they may laugh, or even snicker. But eventually, they'll know that if they're going to gossip, you're not the person to do it around.

Hopefully, little-by-little, they'll begin to think about your response every time they get the "yen" to gossip.

Hopefully they will realize the mistake they are about to make and the lack of benefits involved, and begin to break the habit.